Driving While Impaired.

Not to mention how ridiculous you look.

It's funny (meh) what the reality is:

Several studies, such as a 2005 paper in the British Medical Journal, have found that talking on a cell phone, even with a hands-free device, causes more driver impairment than a 0.08 BAC. A 2001 American Automobile Association study found several other in-car distractions that also caused more impairment, including eating, adjusting a radio or CD player, and having kids in the backseat.
h/t - Reason magazine

And then there is having a baby in the front seat, safely protecting you from a collision with the steering wheel and the airbag. Of course the airbag will kill your kid when it impacts his face at >100 mph. (There's the equivalent of three shotgun shell loads inside it to make it inflate fast enough.)  If it doesn't inflate fast enough, then your body will crush your child through the steering wheel. Of course, that's not something that would EVER happen to our BrittBritt.

You can't fix stupid.